This afternoon, I have been intensely cleaning my house. Summer has not been kind to my cleaning schedule. (which is beside the point)
The point... as I have been cleaning, I have had a worship CD playing loudly... in hopes of burning out my really cranky attitude. It worked. I am overwhelmed by His love... and the fact that I am unable to love without His love.
I despise empty Christianity... the social, American, Christianity... I am deeply longing for intimacy with Jesus... working WITH Him... I want to fully experience His love and presence. I find myself broken this evening.... longing to be a Mary... sitting at His feet. At the same time, I have a deep longing to not live this life for me. I am not "doing this Christian thing" for me... it HAS TO BE for those around me. To sit at His feet... AND to serve like Martha.. I want it all.
(this post is more for me than for you... I just needed to jot down my thoughts, and I am not a journal'er')
3 comments:
One of my favorite studies has been from "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World."
This part came to mind instantly as I read this post:
"Let's get connected to the Vine so that we start bearing fruit. let's start living in such a way that Jesus sticks out all over. Let's start loving in such a way people can point at our lives and say, "I know who you are!"
Or better yet, " I know whose you are" - because they see our Lord and His love in us.
Love you.
That is so exactly the conversation Alissa and I were having before she went to Kansas City. We agree. She got so frustrated with life sometimes being so indifferent to God, Jesus and the true meaning of all that we do. I am also craving living in Spirit and Truth and His presence and sharing. Loved your comment Lindsay! Let's do it!
I am a complete Martha. I really need to read that book that Lindsay mentions above.
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